I once related some of my angst about how I’ve always had a sense of times, distances, and concepts so much broader than my immediate surroundings, even at a young age when I shouldn’t have known about these things.  It was very difficult for me because I knew certain very nebulous concepts long before I could articulate or emotionally deal with them.

An online friend form Serbia was reminded of the beliefs of the Vlach in how a shaman would behave or think.

And really, as I’ve tried to get more in touch with a spiritual path, I’ve found that I have a curious link to low magic.  I’ve found that I’m at my most focused when I’m basically out in the wild, with a camp fire going and an eye to the full moon and letting my instinct drive me.  Lost in the moment, my mind seems to tune into things that even now I have a hard time describing.

I also have a long history of precognitive dreams and exceptional luck and timing, enough to make coincidence and random chance less and less probable.  I have a tendency to attract curious phenomena and paranormal activity (and I am not the only one to remark on this), and I have a keen sense of the interrelatedness of things, even if I still have a hard time describing it.

The few times I’ve tried to practice a more ritualized, high magic (only recently), it has been done after a more chaotic formula, sticking to a loose series of protocols and letting the spirit of the moment guide me.

During the last full moon, I remember taking in such a tremendous amount of energy that I felt physical tingling as I grounded.

Maybe I am more in tune with chaotic energies.  I’ve been seriously thinking about my status as a shaman and how I could hone those abilities to help others.  I have seen the faint glimmers of so many things from the edges of my life, all I need to do is find out what it is that will draw in more of the things I have seen and felt.

Sorry if this all seems vague and nebulous.  It’s an extremely difficult thing to put into words.

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